The 47th scene from Damo Bullen’s ‘Madchester’ takes us to the famous ‘Kitchen’ nightclub at the infamous Crescents in Hulme
New Order’s ‘Fine time’ continues playing as the scene turns to the Kitchen – The Jam MCs are on the decks & the mic – the room is barely lit
Chris Nelson
A big shout out to Factory Records
Who gave us a white label of that track
Straight from our one & only New Order,
Recording, right now, out in Ibiza
Spinning some Spanish sunshine into Hulme
Rowetta
Talking of sunshine, the sun’s coming up,
Shall we open the curtains
Nathan McGough
Go on then
Rowetta opens the curtains – light floods in – Noel Gallagher & Mani are sharing a joint – Nathan McGough & Joe are gather’d around the only table & chairs are chatting & chopping out some lines – other people are dancing
Rowetta
{joining the table}
Top view that, Manchester looks amazing
In the rising sun, while downstairs look wild
More some scene off Mad Max – its lawless
Fires burning, stray dogs roamin’, graffiti
Everywhere, I’ve never seen owt like it
Nathan McGough
Blade Runner meets the Berlin love parade
Joe
We’re on the outskirts of loony land, here,
Rowetta
But heading for the centre
Nathan McGough
Damn straight, girl
Rowetta
Drink, delight, for tomorrow we might die
Mani
{to Noel Gallagher}
Want a blast on this one, mate
Noel Gallagher
Cheers again
Fuck! it’s you
Mani
What!
Noel Gallagher
You’re Mani
Mani
I guess I am
Noel Gallagher
I love the Roses mate
& since you’ve join’d they’ve open’d up the gears
Mani
What’s your name, mate,
Noel Gallagher
I’m Noel
Mani
Noel what
Noel Gallagher
Gallagher, Noel Gallagher
Mani
Irish?
Noel Gallagher
I am, yeah, mi mam’s from County Mayo
& mi dad’s from County Meath, married there
Then came to Manchester looking for work
Mani
Woah! I’m Mancunian Irish n’all
My mam emigrated too
Noel Gallagher
No way
Mani
Yep
She’s from a rural realm call’d Maganey
Near this town call’d Athy, out in Kildare
&, swear down, you’re not gonna believe this
Noel Gallagher
What
Mani
You know Johnny Marr
Noel Gallagher
Of course I do
I fuckin’ love the Clash, especially him
His guitar work’s too magnificent
Mani
Well,
His mam grew up five doors down from my mam
Noel Gallagher
You are joking
Mani
I’m not, it’s the truth mate
Noel Gallagher
Wow, that’s blown my head that has
Mani
Or the skunk
Noel Gallagher
Yeah, strong as fuck, yeah, but lovely stuff, tho!
Shall I pass it on
Mani
Well… just one last blast
Mani has a final go on the joint, gives it back to Noel, who has one last go himself, then passes it to Nathan Mcgough, who is chatting to Joe & Rowetta – Joe is chopping out the lines
Rowetta
So you’re the manager of the Mondays
Nathan McGough
I am, yeah
Rowetta
I love ‘em
Joe
Yeah, they are absolutely amazing
Couldn’t imagine managin’ ‘em, tho
I mean, who could hurricanoes control
So, all kudos to you, sir – & a line
Nathan McGough
Don’t mind if I do, thank you very much
I’ll swap you for this spliff
Joe
A fair exchange
What’s your name, darlin’
Rowetta
Rowetta, & you
Joe
Joe, what’s your name, mate
Nathan McGough
I’m Nathan McGough
Joe
Wonderful to meet you brother
Nathan McGough
Likewise
Rowetta
You know that I’m a singer
Nathan McGough
Cool, who with?
Rowetta
Vanilla Sound Corps mainly
But I’ve work’d with Inner City as well
More recently with Dynasty of Two
Nathan McGough
Cool
Rowetta
There’s space in the Mondays sound, y’know
For a woman’s voice, I can hear it clear
Nathan McGough
Why not come down the studio sometime
See what happens, yeah
Rowetta
That’d be well sound
Joe
{passing Rowetta a roll’d up note)
It looks like this one’s for you, Rowetta
Is that right, mate?
Nathan McGough
Go ahead
Rowetta
Thanks a lot
Enter Nico
Nico
You don’t mind if I have some of that, do you
Rowetta
Course not, darlin’ – I’ll split it into two
Nico
Why, thank you very much
Rowetta
Here ya go, babes
Nico has a line
Nico
{taking a beer}
I’ll just grab the end of this as well, yeah
Exit Nico
Joe
I recognise her, who is she again
Rowetta
That’s Nico, from the Velvet Underground
Joe
Fuck off! No Way!
Rowetta
I swear down
Nathan McGough
It’s her mate
Joe
What the fuck is she doing here in Hulme
Nathan McGough
For the cheap heroin basically
Joe
Is she a junkie?
Rowetta
Can’t you tell
Joe
Jesus
She’s certainly let herself go a bit
Nathan McGough
Hers’, indeed, a precipitous decline
No longer the imperious ice queen
Depicted on the seminal cover
Of New York’s finest ever rock group,
Nor leading light of Warhol’s Factory
She’s now a bloated smack head who performs
Gigs for drugs, like some prozzy hook’d on crack
Rowetta
She lives right here in the Crescents, y’know
Joe
Like the fall of the Roman Empire, this
Rowetta
The Femme Fatelle has fell on swelling knees
But fuck heroin, what about ecstasy
I can’t believe how perfect was last night
The Hacienda’s become a temple
To all that’s good in loving each other
With Dionysis dancin’ round the room
It’s fuckin’ spiritual man
Joe
I know
To revel there is but to be reborn
Nathan McGough
& own a second home, most people there
I know at least by face, but most by name
I spend most of my time hugging people
Inside some Second Summer of Love
Rowetta
Bump into someone, become best friends all,
Drop head over heels by someone just met
Joe
It’s like the music’s translating our lives,
Rewriting our genes, all aspects of life
That doesn’t involve Hacienda nights
Are something to excruciate, wait thro’
Before slow time assembles us once more
Rowetta
Yeah
I’ve never seen such open mindedness
Evolving in instinctive, unforc’d ways
The Hacienda is the breeding ground
A precious, uncontroll’d creative space
To call a welcome home with breathless pride
& welcomes all – black, yellow, white & brown
Brickies & bankers, weirdos & wankers
Punks, Rockers, Soul Boys, or Mods, welcome all!
Nathan McGough
My mam & step-dad always rabbit on
About how great the fuckin sixties were
Said nowt could beat those days, but now we have
Joe
Those sixties songs sound better on an E
Nathan McGough
Manchester’s a major epicenter
For ecstasy’s explosion, I know why
We Mancs are proper dancers, check these moves
Nathan McGough pulls a few moves
Rowetta
You’re way better than Bez mate
Nathan McGough
I know that
But don’t tell him, he’s very sensitive
Joe
I’m so glad I came back up here, y’know
I first came to Manny as a student
& fell in love with the world’s best city
There’s a different class of head-case up here
A night out’s like getting out of the van
In a safari park, when they’re sayin’,
‘Please, mate, don’t fucking feed the animals,’
& you’re like, ‘mate, I’m fuckin’ ‘avin it
With the lions, the tigers, & the monkeys
Enter Lucy, Leo, Donna & Damian ‘Damo’ O’Boyle
Nathan McGough
I think they’ve all just walk’d in ‘ere n’all
Joe
Fuckin hell, hey… Ola amigos
Donna
Ola! Ola!
Lucy
Hey, hey Joe, babycakes
What ya been up to
Joe
The Hacienda
Lucy
Where’s Polly?
Joe
Oh we’re not together now
You know what it’s like, polyamory’s
Permeating with boundless abandon
Lucy
That’s a shame, I liked her, well anyway
This, this is Leo
Leo
‘Ello
Lucy
He’s from France
Joe
Alright mate, so, are you together
Leo
We are, your friend is totally gorgeous
Lucy
As are you, gizza kiss, the
Leo
When you want
Lucy & Leo start a long snog
Donna
Nice to see ya Joe
Joe
You too… who’s your pal?
Damo
My name’s Damian O’Boyle, from Sligo
Please just call me Damo
Donna
He’s a DJ
Joe
Are ya
Damo
Yeah
Donna
We’ve just been Angels, Burnley
That tinpot town sure knows how to party
Leo
It reminds me very much of Marseille
Totally crazy! You English are wild
Nathan McGough
Radio rental, mate, we’re pure mental
Leo
& this place is the maddest ward of all
Compared to Hulme, Amsterdam is boring
Damo
So this is why you call it the Kitchen
The dance rooms a fuck’ kitchen
Lucy
That’s right
It’s Jamie’s place, he built a studio
Then found next door was empty, knock’d right thro
& made two flats just one mad place to be
Damo
I love the way the tatty graffiti
Directs you all the way
Donna
Welcome to Hulme!
It’s the most amazing place in the world
Some brutalist bohemia where art
Flourishes fantastic
Joe
Cos it’s rent free
Lucy
It is yeah, anyone
Who lives here’s essentially a squatter
Damo
Why’s that
Lucy
The place is a disaster of planning
A fail’d utopian council estate
Erected to futuristic blueprints
Replicating Royal Crescents in Bath
They ended up with wonky replicas
Within two years design & safety flaws
Became apparent with stark abundance
An unaffordable heating system
Provided nesting grounds for cockroach swarms
& just to live here, thirteen thousand folk
Prescrib’d a quarter of a million
Tranquillizers & antidepressants
Every month, just to get thro’ the day
A few years ago it had got so bad
The council simply halted charging rent
& wanted to knock down the fuck’ lot
But couldn’t find dough for the wrecking balls
& left it undemolish’d, so folk thought
The flats de facto condemn’d anyway
Lets move inside & in this space convolve
Along whatever lanes our muses lead
Free from all those conventional constraints
Which pin us down & suffocate our souls
Joe
I’ve moved in – compar’d to London’s prices
Living rent free’s a no-fuckin’ brainer
Creates unfractur’d camaraderie
I love these working class communities
For rhapsody is found when folk refuse
To let their adversities define them
& this the spangling donjon of them all
Like some mad countercultural mecca
Here we dance in the ruins of Thatcher
An actualiz’d tale of two cities
Manchester’s Mousetrap’s disparate players
All acting in chaotic harmony;
Students, travellers, anarchists & punks,
Revellers, writers & rastafari
Artists & addicts & musicians, yeah,
There’s music everywhere, every window
There must be about twenty studios
All making this most brilliant music
It’s like Hulme is a colony of ants
& the Crescents its unstoppable queen
Donna
O haven Hulme, thou heaven of our lives
Thou art a creative epicenter
A dilapidated incubator
For all art, a mental coming together
Living our rebellions thro’ good tunes!
Lucy
The whole place reeks of weed, poppas, dog poo
But I love it!
Joe
It was the best of times
It was the worst of times, twas an age
Of wisdom, twas an age of foolishness
The spring of hope, the winter of despair!
Lucy
Are you quoting Charles Dickens, there
Joe
I am
Lucy
Oh – I fuckin’ love you, you’re well funny
Leo
I tell you what I love
Lucy
What is that, babe?
Leo
This music, its brilliant, its not like
Exactly what is being play’d right now
But, better, almost, yes
Lucy
Yeah, totally
They are call’d the Jam MCs, fully perch’d
At the top of their game, they play everything
Like audio explorers of the world
Joe
& it’s all just damn decent dance music
Donna
It’s all so marvellously inspiring
I wanna get involv’d, & add fair worth
To quit my little, witless, shitty job
Design my own t-shirts, open a shop
Better still, a cafe, selling records
Lucy
Yes sista!
Damo
You could set some decks up there
& put your own parties on
Joe
It would be
Some essential Parisian salon
Sewing seeds of funky revolution
Damo
What would you call it
Donna
How about, Freedom
No… Exodus – a place for all to go
When render’d sick with boredom by the state
Joe
That’s a great name, Donna, can I use it
Donna
What for
Joe
I’m gonna put on a party
Lucy
You what
Joe
When I was visiting London
A couple of weeks ago, I went to one
Oh it was amazing, in a warehouse
They’d just broke in, set up a wonderland
& call’d it Genesis, my mind was blown
& I’m going, I can do that up North
Manchester’s full of empty warehouses
They’re everywhere
Damo
Do you need a DJ
Joe
Yeah, & a whole fuckin’ crew
Donna
We’ll help, won’t we Luce
Lucy
Of course we will Joe
Joe
Brilliant, let’s do it, then!
Leo
The French say
When people do nothing the Devil wins
Joe
Exactly, my brother, we have to act
Else let this burgeoning love & wonder
Wallow in cultural suppuration
Damo
You’re gonna need security, brother
When operating plush outwith the law
The law’s not there to protect your winnings
Any crew with shootahs will take the lot
A blag easier than robbin’ a bank
But I know some lads, they’re hard fuckin’ geezers
Ex-paratrooper’s with specializ’d skills
They won’t be cheap, but they won’t bottle it
Joe
Can you put me in touch with them
Damo
Yeah mate
Joe
Sweet – well, we’re here – the birth of Exodus
Donna, Lucy, Leo & Damo all cheer – enter Gerald Simpson who approaches the Jam Mcs
Gerald Simpson
Alright boys
Chris Nelson
Yo Gerald, what’s happenin’
Gerald Simpson
I’ve been working on this fuckin’ tune lads
Any chance you can pop it on just now
I wanna see what it sounds like, looks like
If folk decide to dance to it
Chris Nelson
Sure man
Gerald Simpson
Cheers Chris
DJ Tomlin
What’s it called
Gerald Simpson
Well, that’s quite a funny tale
I’d pull’d a sample from this LP, yeah
Peter Cook and Dudley Moore’s Bo Duddley
Sketch, from their album Derek & Clive, Live,
So, anyways, when Cook says Voodoo Rage
But I accident’ly cut off the end
So now it’s Voodoo Ray
DJ Tomlin
That fuckin’ works
Dr Tomlin drops the levels, Chris Nelson takes the mic
Chris Nelson
Charles Barry Crescent’s very own
Gerald Simpson has just walk’d in the room
& handed us a very special track
Call’d Voodoo Ray, & we’ve got the honour
Of its premier, here in the Kitchen
Let’s give it up & hit those beats with
Freestyle!
Gerald Simpson
Cheers man!
The track begins to flow
DJ Tomlin
Wow, how d’ya get that sound
Chris Nelson
Bassline reminds me of Fela Kuti
Gerald Simpson
It’s just my Roland SH101
But when multi-layer’d on my tascam
To polyphonic monophonic turns,
Creating an audio illusion
From oscillating, het’rodyning tones
Makes almost like this mad metallic sound
Kind of going in and out of itself
DJ Tomlin
I can hear it, brother, sounds alien
Chris Nelson
Is there a 303 in there as well
Gerald Simpson
Yeah
Chris Nelson
It sounds fucking amazing that does, man
The 303 is speaking to me there
I swear its sounding like there’s two machines
Chattin’ on acid, & we’re list’ning in
DJ Tomlin
You’ve just got to release it man, it’s ace
Look at this lot here, they’re all loving it
Gerald Simpson
It’s happening, it’s happening, & soon
I’ve sign’d a deal with Rham! from Merseyside
To issue it on vinyl
Chris Nelson
Nice one man
I’ll buy it
Gerald Simpson
Fuck off you get one for free
Enter Rowetta
Rowetta
Do you mind if I sing along
Gerald Simpson
Why not
Rowetta
Anything specific you want me to say
Gerald Simpson
Not really, maybe some Boy George wailing
Rowetta
Alright, no probs, can you pass me the mike
Rowetta adds the ‘ay-yaa ha haa – wha ha ha yeah’ bits to the track – the room erupts – at the end of the track – there’s a massive cheer – Damo bounds over
Damo
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow – my jaws hit the floor
Twas deadly, savage, class & grand & all
Never heard nuthin’ like it in my life
Can I have a copy of that tape, please
I’d love to play when I next DJ
Gerald Simpson
Better that you let me finish it first
I’m going to record it properly
& if you’re gonna play it in a mix
I’ll save you a white label, eh?
Damo
Thanks man
Enter Alisha & Matty Grooves
Alisha
Yo Yo – so this is where the party’s at
Donna
Alisha!
Lucy
Hey, pop tart, where’d you get to
Alisha
I’ve just been chattin’ to my new best mate
May I introduce Matty, Matty Grooves
Matty
Hello people
Lucy
Nice name
Joe
Nice shoes
Donna
Nice eyes
Alisha
Yeah, they’re amazing aren’t they, fleck’d with gold
Matty Grooves
Alright, alright, enough eye-gazing please
Lucy
How are ya doing sweetie
Alisha
Hugs & drugs
Hugs & drugs – gimme a hug, then some drugs
Lucy
I’ve still got a half left , do you want it
Alisha
Yeah, we’re gonna have a quarter each, ta
Joe
You know the bar upstairs sells ecstasy
Alisha
No… they’ve ran out, & they’ve no red stripe left
Matty Grooves
They’ve got champagne left, but it’s well pricey
Damo
Champagne!
Matty Grooves
Yeah – for the Moss Side crew, they say
Who, & I quote, ‘do not care how scummy
The party is, they have to have champagne’
Alisha
Anyways, the Spinners has just open’d
It’s just downstairs innit, what say we all
Hit the drinks, the table & the jukey
Damo
Sounds like a laugh to me
Donna
I’m well up for it
Alisha
Well come on, guys, lets get out of this dump
Donna, Alisha, Joe, Damo, Lucy & Leo start to get their things ready to leave
Lucy
We’ve still got to navigate them stairwells
They stink of piss
Joe
The Spinners does as well
Damo
We could get two taxis & head to mine
Donna
We could do, let’s make a plan at the pub
Lucy
Tits and teeth, ladies, tits & teeth
Alisha
Got em!
Lucy
Party people in the place, off our face
Donna
Leave the place
Lucy
Party people in the place
Alisha & Donna
Party Party Party Party Paaaar-Teeee
Exit Donna, Alisha, Joe, Damo, Lucy & Leo – enter the young Liam Gallgher holding a guitar
Liam Gallagher
Noel, Noel
Noel Gallagher
Alright our kid, what’s that
Liam Gallagher
It’s a guitar, one of my mates has one
Lives in over in Robert Adam Crescent
He’s leant it me – gotta get it back, tho
As soon as we’re finish’d, without a scratch
Noel Gallagher
Ah, brilliant
Noel Gallagher
Ey Liam, meet Mani
This is my kid brother
Mani
Nice to meet ya
Liam
So, ya gonna sing us a song, or what
Noel Gallagher
Alright, just let me tune it up, then, first
Liam Gallagher
He’s great, he even writes his own, dontcha
Noel Gallagher
I’ve penn’d a couple of ditties, this one
I etch’d after droppin’ my first eccie
I was fuckin’ buzzin’ on the walk home,
Full of song & melody
Mani
Play it, then
Noel Gallagher
Alright, alright, it’s call’d Summer of Love
SUMMER OF LOVE
It’s a fine time for the Funky Revolution
Get down here all you monkey men & women
If you still can’t feel it better open your eyes wider
Swing out sister to the psychejelly spider
Well all you painters, poets, dancers know-it-alls
Jesters, jokers, chesty smokers all
It’s time to find your diamonds in the squall
It’s time to hang your high lies on the wall
Come feel the summer rising up within us all
Come feel the summer rising up within us all
Cos love is all
It’s a fine time for doo-doo doin’ it like a minstrel
Wrapp’d in the smile that we found on the scene
You don’t have to prove it, you just have to move it
Grinnin’ & groovin’ I love ecstasy
Well all you painters, poets, dancers know-it-alls
Gather round when country piper calls
The Jester’s artwork’s hangin’ on the wall
Come feel the summer rising up within us all
Come feel the summer rising up within us all
Cos love is all
In 81 I had no fun the Pistols dead & Bowie done
In 82 had nowt to do but drink & smoke & fight & screw
In 83 I dug the scene , butfar too much amphetamine
In 84 I knew the score, the Miner’s Strike’s a dinosaur
But 85 I felt alive cos human kindness will survive
In 86 I learnt new tricks on one too many acid trips
Then in 1987 – we found our heaven
Euphoria —————
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