TO LIAM
How do I start this
My world is in utter ruins right now
& I cannot believe that I’m actually writing this
& that are you are truly gone forever
I grew up with you but now
I have to live without you
It feels like my heart has been torn in two
& a piece of me will be missing all my life
Now you are gone
Forever 31
I wanted to express how much you still mean to me
You were such a bright & happy, smiley person
I am so proud to call myself a fan of you
& I really hope you finally find the peace you deserve
For there is nothing to worry about anymore, angel
Payno, my beautiful Payno,
Because our birthdays are a day apart
I always used to say you were my absolute fave
I also had a cardboard cut-out of you
Because I love you, and I always will
1D was, & still is, my whole life
& I honestly can’t go a day without listening
To at least three of your songs
For that, & everything, I wanted to thank you
For the laughs, the memories, the music,
&, most importantly,
For all you have done for the boys
& in keeping One Direction alive
Even though I never got to meet you
In this lifetime
I miss you more than words can explain
You saved me when I felt I had nobody else
Your live streams & discord sever made me happy
& gave me friends for life
You were such a beautiful human, Liam
With the kindest soul
For as long as I remember
I have followed your journey
You, & the boys, have been a massive part
Of my life, & especially my childhood
I have loved you & the rest of the band
Since before I was three years old
& I will always remember you as the fun
Sweet, loving, kind & incredibly talented
Young boy from Wolverhampton
I’m so grateful to you
For every moment of happiness you gave me
One Direction were my way of learning
What the words love & friendship meant
& now, in the same way, I’m learning what grief is
& it breaks my heart every time I see
A video of you, or hear
A song
I hope you can hear this letter
& look down on the world
& know how much
Me & the Directioners loved you dearly
You made our childhoods amazing
I will forever cherish those memories
Of listening to your music until three in the morning
Of talking about new releases in primary school
& I will spread your music & message to my kids
Your memory will not die – you will be talked about forever
Forever 31
I am so sorry the industry let you down
& I wish I could have saved you that night
Like you did ours
You didn’t deserve to go this way
This young
The happy Liam you once were shines brighter
Than the struggling man you would become
You said you didn’t know who you were anymore
But we do Payno
& our hearts are so sad to understand
You won’t be watching little Bear grow up
& you won’t be living peacefully
Making things right
But, as fans we promise to take care of the boys
& little Bear, & to protect him
From anything & everything
You had this incredible ability
To connect with people
To lift us up when we were down
I genuinely felt I knew you
& heaving gone through a lot in my life
Always your music, your smile, your stories
Your interviews, were there for me to fall back on
When I was being bullied you were there for me
Your voice brought me comfort thro my toughest times
And I want you to know you have touched my heart
In so many ways, & in my heart
You will always have a special place
But now you are gone
I feel lost, broken, confused
Now you are gone
I hope you have found peace at last
You have left a void impossible to fill
I know you had your demons in this life
But I hope the spirit world
Shines on you with light & love & serenity
I’m so sorry that you felt like that was the only way
I’m so sorry that you thought the world was against you
& hated you
Because we all love you so dearly
Everyone worldwide is feeling your passing badly
But although you were taken from us far too soon
I always felt I related to you most in the band
& want to thank you for being the light in my darkness,
And for thousands of others like me
We will always love you
We will always be proud of you
We will always remember you
And all the amazing things you have done in your life
“Goodbyes are bittersweet
But it’s not the end
I’ll see your face again
And you will find me
Yeah, you will find me
In places that we’ve never been
For reasons we don’t understand
Walking in the wind”
Fly High Angel
Maybe in another lifetime I’ll be able to tell you
How much I love, appreciate & admire you
& I really, really hope you’re happier in Heaven
Than you ever were on Earth
The story of your life
Should never have ended this way
You had so many more years
To live & grow wiser
& be a father to young Bear
I will miss you for life
& not a day will pass
Where I won’t think about you
Gone but never forgotten
Forever 31
Lots of love from a huge & hurting fan
Rest in Paradise
X
(we aren’t angry with you)
themumble.uk 